JOKES!

I know some people think poop jokes are stinky, but in my opinion they’re the absolute best. Poop puns, on the other hand, are a solid #2.

Here are some of my very favorite poop jokes:

Q: Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It was stuck in a crack!

Q: What did the poop say to the fart?
A: You blow me away!

Q: What did the math teacher do when she got constipated?
A: She worked it out with a pencil!

Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
A:To get to the bottom!

Q: Why did Piglet stick his head in the toilet?
A: He was looking for Pooh!

Q: Why does Piglet always smell bad?
A: Because he plays with Pooh!

Q: What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
A: Dung!

Q: Why do ducks have feathers?
A: To cover their butt quacks!

Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor!

Q: When isn’t laughter the best medicine?
A: When you have diarrhea!

Q: Why did the man bring toilet paper to the party?
A: He was a party pooper!

And here are some of my favorite non-poopy jokes:

Q: Why can’t your hand be twelve inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot!

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7, 8, 9!

Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because her parents were in a jam.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick!

Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: He saw the salad dressing!

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta!

Q: What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef!

Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May!

Q: What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers?
A: Kids will eat boogers!

Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!

Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you were changing in the middle of the street!

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!

Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
A: They don’t have the guts!

Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: It had too many problems!

Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stick!